Your Kids Aren't That Special

I really need to stop with this CNN reading but I can't help myself!

Articles like this one titled, "Parents, your kids aren't that special," are the little gold nuggets I find every day! This article, an excerpt from Jack Cafferty's "The Situation Room" on CNN, is exactly how I feel 99.9% of the time when out and listening to people's children complain, act out and disrupt.

Jack's commentary is spot on... parents, your kids are not that special. Children deserve discipline. They must be taught what is appropriate behavior and what is not--especially when in public. I am not a fan of physical discipline and I certainly don't condone it and the good news is that all research indicates it is not necessary. With steady parenting (the biggest component), proper techniques, and a healthy dose of trial and error you can teach your children to be human beings from a young age... seriously!

Obviously being a parent is not a perfect science, in fact many would say there is no science to it all. As a sociology major from the University of Washington who studied human behavior I have to respectfully disagree. While being a good parent is a learned skill and certainly not genetic, you can be effective right out of the box using proven steps.

Start by doing your research (yes you can research being a parent and it is OK!), remember to be compassionate (you are raising a human, not an animal), and most importantly, establish fair but firm boundaries. Fair but firm means keeping a steady hand--not a vise-grip--and recognize that children are children and they do not yet have the ability to manage their emotions like you do (or like we all hope you do).

NOTE: If you don't have the ability to manage and effectively channel your own emotions... don't have children; you are doing them, you, the world and me great harm.

It is important to recognize that you and your child can teach each other things. It is OK. You can learn from your child--it is encouraged. Please do it. They may help you understand yourself better. Your child could quite possibly--and likely will--open your mind to new and better ways of interpreting life that you would miss on your own! The innocence of youth has a funny way of doing that. Don't squash it. Listen, you may be surprised by what you hear.

With all this said, I am not attempting to give parenting instructions here. I am also not saying that each method works for each parent and child. There are variations... many of them. Ultimately the responsibility always falls on the parents for a child's behavior. Please, don't neglect them. If you can't parent, don't have children.

I get upset when children are unruly and lash out with no restraint but it is your job as a parent to resolve the issues with your children and you owe it to them to do so. You are the only one who can set your child on a path for proper societal integration. Do it. For you, for them, for me and for everyone else on this planet who may have to deal with them now or in the future.

- Mitch G